Friday, March 11, 2011

Heavy metal groupies aside, he wouldn’t offer a chair or a smile to anyone

The band got back together, acoustically, overcompensating to resolve some uneven distribution of cash. A youthful crew drew a flaming guitar on the van.

Sympathetic fans covet guitar tunes they loved before middle school, probably wishing for much the same from the re-formed band. Over time, though, they knew showbiz interloping can get tiresome and test even the strongest-built band on the smoke alarm circuit.

At the auditorium, the singer proceeded to shriek about pissing off the former governor of a midwestern state. Hung up as he must be about it, picture yourself in his office, nothing absorbed but the harmful sounds that vibrated throughout the governor’s mansion.

After a few seconds, though, the shrill singer took off his lingerie, offered the public official a truce. “Everything is going so well now,” he said. “State taxes reduced, highways repaired…” The drummer shook his head at the singer. Never again would he ask him back for a band reunion.

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